how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
