I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
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