we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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