You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize