Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
