I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
