The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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