UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
