She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Randomize
