How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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