By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
the day after is always just damage control
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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