I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
