And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
