Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
