yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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