sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize