Whod you bang
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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