I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
