yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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