sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
