I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
