she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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