oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
