Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
