Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
