:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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