dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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