I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
