btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
