I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
