its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
