Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
