Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
