I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
