Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize