It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
