so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize