clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
