Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
