Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
