Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
