In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
