I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
