i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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