I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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