I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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