I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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