Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
