Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
