his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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