lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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