I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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