So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
