oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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