So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Randomize
