I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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