we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
