Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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