So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
