Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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