I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
