Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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