Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
