I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
