some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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