All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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