I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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