You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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