They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
