In the future we'll all be gay
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
