He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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