GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
