i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
