I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
