Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
